Varsa-svasa

you have thirty-seven scratches from the rocks bruises on your toes where you almost broke them lungs that know the taste of air & hold onto it longer each time you dive for rocks you float in water that is familiar

you like the days of river water when all that matters is to keep swimming

every day every other day the darkness of the water you go into the deep spots grab rocks and sink to the bottom to watch sunlight all the space in which you cannot catch yourself swimming, swimming you are not afraid anymore fill your lungs right

think about a Charlotte Lottie Lott Char would you love me could I love you back

gently together i wanna be

the sky knows God the sky knows rain it keels over, heavy and washes over you matting in your hair and pooling in the dips of tarmac you can't help but laugh it is joy, joyous, heartsprung, happy humans are mostly water it soaks into your skin you feel like you are returning to the clouds your condensation is clearing

you are too big you try not to mind so you won't be hollow again

 I kissed a girl when I was six ducked my head beneath the coats we held over our heads in the rain giggled and laughed and thought nothing of it I left that cornhusk town behind I don't miss it but I miss it now all I have left of me, a decade later, is a handful of broken pencils two unfinished diaries and copper turtle from Bali & the marks where I've trailed my fingers over the years I wish did not feel guilty for wanting

they tell me "the world is ending." it feels like it has been ending since 1462 maybe now is just the time to metabolize chaos

winter is not ended; winter is not over it breathes this slow changing of things